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It had been 15 years.
He could never get those years back. He could never return to the past and live through his children growing up. He could never hold Eileen in his arms and sing her to sleep. He could never teach Darren how to shave. He could never make things right with Andrew--or even Argine.
He could never get back fifteen years of being lost in a dream with a woman who wasn't his--and wasn't even who either of them thought she was.
But maybe he could make things right with Rachel. Maybe, despite being drained from fifteen years of sustaining a powerfully strong, deeply emotional illusion, he could make some tiny piece of the last fifteen years of loss right.
Or, at the very least, stop Leah from completing her objective against someone he had spent the last fifteen years completely devoted to, even only in an illusion. Someone he could admit, despite a perfectly happy marriage to a wonderful woman and the birth of two fabulous children, to never having stopped loving. It wouldn't fix the last fifteen years--but maybe it would help stop the hole he had left from growing even further.
Leah's probably used to seeing the lion. Rachel won't have seen it in years. It doesn't matter if they both know it isn't real. It's the first step toward him being able to build something useful.
He could never get those years back. He could never return to the past and live through his children growing up. He could never hold Eileen in his arms and sing her to sleep. He could never teach Darren how to shave. He could never make things right with Andrew--or even Argine.
He could never get back fifteen years of being lost in a dream with a woman who wasn't his--and wasn't even who either of them thought she was.
But maybe he could make things right with Rachel. Maybe, despite being drained from fifteen years of sustaining a powerfully strong, deeply emotional illusion, he could make some tiny piece of the last fifteen years of loss right.
Or, at the very least, stop Leah from completing her objective against someone he had spent the last fifteen years completely devoted to, even only in an illusion. Someone he could admit, despite a perfectly happy marriage to a wonderful woman and the birth of two fabulous children, to never having stopped loving. It wouldn't fix the last fifteen years--but maybe it would help stop the hole he had left from growing even further.
Leah's probably used to seeing the lion. Rachel won't have seen it in years. It doesn't matter if they both know it isn't real. It's the first step toward him being able to build something useful.